24.11.10

Huft

what date today? oh, twenny three and i'm suck of anything here. like such a fool girl, watching carefully in class but never understand what am i learned, i'm just doing some psychological things like said "I am okay, doing okay, everything will be okay and i will make my parents proud" dozen times like a crazy to keep my self stronger here, i am struggle here alone, no one want to understand me (who is me) and i won't either. okay, sorry random.

like deja vu, or i really had many deja vu now on, what is it mean? anyway, like deja vu, i will say that i am now PANIIIIIC!! two weeks again walk to the scary things in my whole life, my future, final exam in first semester. wish me luck, people. i will keep fighting to struggle in studying against my neighborhood at boarding house- altius, retta, bunga, wina, tika, and wirda whom are really clever people. except me, really. i am not clever anyway, just want to clever and want to live in this jungle, staying alive and speak loudly to my mom and dad, that their daughter will make them go to holy place, saudi arabia, going hajj, amin :)

whatever the situation here, any reason and condition which me faced, i will remember my mom and dad. I am here, for they, for their smiles, ya Allah. keep me walk in straight way. Bismillah

ps: i'm sick now, feeling cold and now drinking the hot tea. hope not get the thypus

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