The hopeless pray

One year left, my time getting shorter and I, up even now, did not do anything big to make our distance disappear. I were busy with my stuff and forgetting all my aim goal, like him. What should I do, God?
In this one year, even I'm happy that now he smiled me and say Hi to me when we met, it still makes me hurt. We even can not start the conversation when we suddenly in one place-like those days.
I realized that I have wasted my time to suck a junk activities. Now, hundreds girls will stared you talking as leader in next couple days, wearing yellow jackets, speaking touchy speech with your cool style.
God, what should I do? can you just make him feel the same way like I have? Can you? :'(

Sorry if you think "what is this girl thinking about? didn't she just post about forgetting the boy?". Yes, I did. and yes, I have did this things many times but like the quotes said,
Love is hard to get, but harder to let go.

Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you.
How can I forget you when your always on my mind? How can I not want you when your all I want inside? How can I let you go when I can't see us apart? How can I not love you when you control my heart?
The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn't want to be held on to. Why am I afraid to lose you when you're not even mine...

I just need someone to cure my pain :'(

What's my concern now

I have held many events in just one year of my freshmen attended. For next semester, I will fully concern with my project with:
  • 34th Jazz Goes To Campus as Jazz Communion
  • Documentary Days 2011 as Sponsorship
  • Badan Otonom Economica as External Affairs
  • SEA Games volunteer
Now you know that I am not kind of geeky university student that just focus to make the IP larger and larger. I am even facing the diminishing of return in my IPK :'(

I'm just now try to manage my time more scheduled and pushing my self more harder to complete all of those project nicely. Bismillah, third semester will hard!

Ps: I got scholarship too~ how lucky I am ;p

Helping fund raising

Unexpected things rarely happened in my life. Like this one.
Couple days ago I got text from my friend that we (me and my friends which attended audition for quiz in one of television-- just read this) PASSED THE AUDITION!! wohooo~
We really hopeless and did not think about pass the quiz's audition.

So, yesterday, we got aired live from studio one somewhere-television with many peoples wore weird clothes and make up. We even styled our face with weird make up (love lipstick and wing eyeliner) and wore beach dress, sun glasses, and summer cap in those studio. For boys, they wore floral-shirt and using sun glasses like us.

The crew in those studios before we got aired live, played some music to made ice-breaker on us. We even danced like a crazy people in the floor! That was the awesome moment for Coconut (us, our group name). We danced, jived, whooped, yelled, and sort of those things in fifteen minutes with all of other groups :)

After those crazy moments, we back sat again and got instruction from crew. The presenter, Indra Bekti and Indi Barents (you now knew what's the quiz name, right?) after that showed and joked around with us. They were silly and not different from television, handsome and pretty :) They such a cute crazy couple.

When the quiz began, we really showed what's the best from us-- whooped and screamed haha. but unfortunately, until the end of trader game, there's no one of us picked by Indra for trading.

So sorry for all of Documentary Days crew for our fails. BUT WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP! the second line of team will attended the audition in couple days. So Indonesia, wait for us!

Ps: my family (mom and dad) were uproar when saw my face in television. my aunt in Jayapura also watched those quiz and saw my face. Many of my friends mentioned me in twitter and bbm us because we appeared in television. My feeling? SHAME! what-a-weird-face I have for those times!! Our love-shaped lipstick! My parents laughed for that. My chubby face and fat body! Wtf! I now officially in serious mode for DIET! No longer to holding this pain anymore :'(



Captured dreams

Saya hanyalah wanita kecil dari keluarga kecil. Asa dan tekad yang kuat menjalani berbagai macam jenis hidup merupakan favorit saya. Mimpi saya sedari kecil adalah mencoba dan mencoba berbagai macam hal baru, dimulai dari negeri saya sendiri yang tercinta-- Indonesia dan seluruh negeri di dunia.

Hal ini bukan sekedar hal biasa. Karena dari hari ke hari, saya berusaha mencari dimana letak titik passion hidup saya, dan yang saya temukan adalah hal ini: mencoba berbagai hal baru. Di saat itulah saya bisa menggali motivasi baru saya, meraih semangat saya untuk melakukan suatu hal.

Tetapi, apa daya. Keluarga saya mempunyai keterbatasan dan mimpi saya yang luas harus dibatasi oleh keterbatasan yang saya miliki. Tapi saya tidak menyerah, karena saya tahu ini hanyalah masalah waktu. Pasti kelak ada kalanya saya bisa meraih semua impian yang saya impikan. Semua hal yang selalu muncul dalam mimpi saya.

Seruling besi, tarian daerah, tawa canda orang-orang yang tidak dikenal, bahasa yang tidak saya kenal, salju, gunung, laut, keindahan dunia. Kapan ya?



Hari itu adalah puncak kebahagiaanku, hari yang ada di akhir bulan Juli.
Setelah bergumul dengan ratusan latihan soal mempersiapkan hari UAS yang lelah. Bagaikan sebuah hadiah dari Yang-di-Atas, hari itu ditutup dengan senyuman dari seseorang yang nggak pernah gue bayang buat nyapa duluan.

Rasanya, hari-hari gue menunggu dan berusaha memperpendek jarak dibayar sudah. Rasanya bagaikan mimpi. Perjuangan gue menghasilkan sesuatu yang manis. Akhirnya, ada satu hal yang bisa gue kenang, gue banggakan, disaat gue sudah memutuskan bulat-bulat untuk menyerah mengejar dan bermimpi. Menyerah untuk memaksakan diri membuat seseorang yang nggak kenal diri gue sebagai pusat dari segala aktifitas gue.

Cukup, dan terima kasih atas senyumannya :)