Happy New Year 2014!

Tidak ada kata-kata yang tepat untuk menjelaskan betapa bersyukurnya gue atas kelimpahan rezeki, kesempatan, pengalaman dan pelajaran di tahun 2013 selain Alhamdulillah dan Terima Kasih. Benar-benar merupakan tahun terbaik dalam hidup gue. Di penghujung tahun, ternyata keluarga gue harus melewati masa-masa pergantian tahun dengan sedikit musibah: adik bungsu masuk rumah sakit karena gejala tipes dan mama harus sakit karena kecapaian dan salah makan. Jadilah malam tahun baru gue lewati sendirian di rumah dan sudah di atas kasur dari jam sepuluh malam. Bunyi terompet dan letupan kembang api di atas atap rumah menambah kegalauan dan kekesalan hati (masih terus mikirin skripsian dan magang yang nggak jelas kesimpulannya gimana). Jam 00.00 nggak sengaja kebangun karena suara gaduh luar biasa dari ratusan bunyi kembang api dan gue kaget (sekarang) apa yang gue lakukan pas bangun liat jam di screen handphone waktu itu: berdoa baca Al-Fatihah! (mungkin tekanan skripsi dan magang amat sangat luar biasa sampai mendorong sisi reliji gue jadi naik) dan kemudian kembali tidur.

***

Pagi harinya gue ada janji sama salah satu teman yang kebetulan juga magang dan skripsi, sama-sama keterima di perusahaan yang sama dalam periode yang sama, buat cari kosan bareng. Keliling daerah Kuningan selama empat jam, akhirnya kita nemuin kosan dengan harga "masuk akal", bersih, dan fasilitas lengkap. Walaupun nggak sebagus kosan yang deket kampus UI dan harga yang sangat mahal, semoga pengorbanan gue ini bisa membantu sedikit buat nambah motivasi menyelesaikan skripsi plus meningkatkan performa gue pas magang. Biar kena dua-duanya gitu, amin (bisa apa nggak ya?)

***

Apapun resolusi yang gue canangkan untuk tahun 2014, I do really really hope that I could be graduated in July 2014 whether with thesis or internship report. I do not care but I hope I could, at least, give my contribution to my university and my country with my last result as student.

Apapun yang akan gue lakukan setelah itu, gue janji gue akan menyempatkan waktu untuk mengunjungi Jepang atau Thailand/ Vietnam sebelum memulai jenjang karir, entah itu sebagai karyawan swasta di perusahaan konsultan, bank multinasional, perusahaan minyak asing atau pegawai negeri sipil di kementrian atau bank negara. Gue akan berusaha sekeras yang gue punya untuk membuat dan memilih jalan yang terbaik, biar kedepan gue nggak akan menyesal saat melihat kebelakang.

Apapun nanti, dan apapun itu, gue akan berusaha menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik. Yang terus berusaha belajar di setiap waktu dan detik gue lalui, entah melalui buku, kejadian, teman-teman, ataupun lingkungan. Apapun itu, gue pengen di penghujung tahun depan, gue bisa memiliki tabungan yang cukup untuk memulai hidup mandiri dan bisa kasih sedikit kebahagiaan ke keluarga, ke Papa dan Mama.

Apapun itu, pendidikan nggak akan berhenti sampai di sini aja. Gue yakin, tahun depan walaupun banyak yang harus gue lakukan, gue akan berusaha untuk menyicil keperluan serta dokumen biar bisa lanjutin studi gue ke tempat yang gue cita-citakan dari dulu, London.

Apapun itu, selalu ingat Allah dan lakukan Shalat lima waktu. Apapun itu. Karena sekeras apapun usaha dan niat, kalau yang diatas tidak memberikan ridhonya, Kun Fayakun, semuanya akan menghilang dan sia-sia. Jadi..... mari berusaha!!

Let's start our 365 pages in 2014 with full of happiness, joy and achievements! Bismillah!

Conclusion: I am gonna marry. In the future.

No. I am not kidding.

This year had taught me many things and I had learn how real life it is.

I do not want to be so naive and closed my eyes to the reality, that I am also a human and I need someone who cares me, a lot. Even more that my family and my friends. I want to have a future, I want to share my moments with people that I really care with.

In every aspects and sides that I want to criticize, I couldn't find any bad things in marriage and couples, besides some of them would face crazy moments sometimes because misunderstanding and lack of communication. But the rest, they have many joyful moments and live your life alone will not have so much fun if you compared it with moments of many people that shared those things, together.

And, wearing those beautiful gown, dress, seeing your groom besides you and kissed each other making a promise to live together until death comes in front of prelate and our parents, that so sweet. and having a baby? ha-ha.... I know it will be hurts so much and will disturb your path and your career but I can't lie babies is the most cutest things ever in this world followed by kittens and puppies.

I am just could not find any reasons to deny my destiny to be a bride in the future. I also feel that it will be such a hell if I just live by myself for many years, it will so horrible. I, probably, will be a crazy single woman whom need many love and thirsty of guy. So dirty.

And it just so wrong in my religion perspectives.

Hah.... what should I say. I have to more be realistic person and try to, yah, find him.

 yes, I can not believe what I typed here.

Merry Christmas and Keep Calm for Thesis!

Final exam finished. Final paper finished. Organization will be finished in one month (yup, even there's still many responsibility that we have to finish). And the best part is holiday is in my hand.

I am already in holiday mode for five days, while trying to fill up this rest time with a little part-time in my campus, being a watchdog while the rest of students still have subject in their final exams. So, despite that I am already in holiday, I am still going and back to my campus, routinely. You know, it's such a relief that in fact, I am running from the reality that there's a big thing that I have to solve: THESIS.

Yes. Thesis. this one word already haunted me for a month, in my dream and in every thought that I had while I am not thinking any busy things. How come I become such a coward person like this? I have a very big plan and idea about how my thesis would be and who will be my professor, but when it comes, I just can't work it, when it hits its time, I am just delay it like forever. And I am afraid that I could not make it for next semester. I am so scared......

that the fact is I already signed my contract to be an intern with the most busiest auditor firm in this country, and I know that I will have less time to spend my time to focus in writing thesis. I should just say to myself that I could do this but I do not know why.......... I always think I can not do this and change my mind about writing this thesis.

But this thesis is one of things that could help me to gain many things in my next year plan. I have to bear with THIS THING for this semester. Whatever reasons that could come, I can handle this! For the sake of my career and my success in the future. Oh my god, please hold on your self, you can not just give up like this!!

(to be honest, today I supposed to call my professor because I promised to him to discuss about my new topic in phone but I am just can not. I think I have to be more prepare, so I will postpone it for couple of days, and will call him in January. I want to make my self more comfortable and ready with these things. I have to prepare, I have to ready. I have to have no weakness and strong when speaking with him, so he could think that I am ready with these things. And then he will allowed me to use this topic and do this things, confident with it. yes.)

I need a little time to prepare. my heart and my mind. my will and build my motivation.

****

So, a day after Christmas and couple of days before new year eve. I do not know what kind of plan I have in that eve, but I hope it will be fun and full of meanings. While I am running from the reality that I have to write my thesis, I am thinking about my plan next year. Considering that next year is very important year for me, many tough decisions that I have to make. Very very important year. 2014, so dangerous.

I know that fact. But two days already wasted for watching korea drama: Reply 1994. You can tell how stupid I am. Yes.. you don't have to tell me, I already knew.

But I want to fix it. I want to write my plan. Just hoping for I can execute them.

at the end, no matter how rough our path, believe that we can make it to the end. Just do not give up and keep think optimist! because God never give you a problem that way bigger than your capability, God knows it and you just have to bear it, and believe it. So, Merry Christmas everyone whom celebrate it! And can not wait to New Year post!

Ho, Ho, Ho! Fellas, May the miracle of Christmas  fill your heart with warmth and love. Christmas is the time of giving and sharing. It is the time of loving and forgiving. Here’s wishing you all the joys of the season.
Merry Christmas to Everyone!

December!

Okay, I will make it short since I already wasted my time because do not how to make a good essay for my final paper, and now already the time to make it into real essay (but still escape from that and write in my blog).

I would like very thank you for my self *respect your own self, it's important* and of course my parents because of their blessings and support could make me through all of these obstacles. I just had a very wonderful year in my life!

I was turning into 20 this year, with received so much love and prays from my family and friends. and I also have ended my last year in bachelor study this year (and I hope I could get straight A's for the result). And the most achievement is that I can participate in international conference and nailed international competition not so long ago (yeah!!) those already written in my bucket list and I fulfilled it with many efforts.

I also (finally) stepped my feet in SOUTH KOREA! backpacking with my best friends, experienced the country and do extraordinary things while in there. Also I experienced my first flight this year to Singapore and Malaysia (for free) and attended many international exhibition. I do not know but my Japanese friends this year add so much and I hope it is the signal for me that my dream to go to Japan more closer by the end of this year.

Like a couple days again I will end this wonderful year and start my new journey in 2014, I want to utilize it properly. I want to plan my next year so carefully so I won't disappointed when the year has been passed.

and just for a sneak peek, what I want to achieve and through in 2014:

1) Direct hiring from my internship company
2) Finish my thesis in May 2014 with unique topic and strong defence
3) Graduated in July 2014
4) Visit Japan in August 2014
5) ASEAN bacpacking (solo or trio) in October 2014
6) Working and working~
7) November 2014 start my own business
8) Got a scholarship invitation at the end of 2014


can I do all of that? I HOPE I COULD!! SO MUCH NERVES AND I WANT TO SLEEP JUST THINKING OF THEM. many things to do and just have a little time, oh no.

God please be with me :')

Plastic Surgery for cosmetic reason? come on, get a life!

Today I should finish my thesis proposal writing but in the half way, I was disturbing in some pics on kpsurgery.co that so many people go to surgeon asked to have some works onto their faces, their beauty faces. and I am just like "holy shit what's happened with their mind?!"

since plastic surgery in South Korea already like a trend and South Korea itself claimed their beautician is the best nowadays in the world, even the government made a special route for tourist whom visit Korea to get a plastic surgery in Korean Culture Tourism site. And it is awesome yet crazy because they make it so wrong.

I believe everyone has their own natural beauty. Some people do not have because they was born with weakness like harelip or after accident in their face. Those people DO need plastic surgery so they could live like normal people or get back their old face. but some people who are not grateful for what God already gifted to them and do not want to struggle in natural way to get what they wanted is like unfair.

and I just think.. after you have worked in your face and when you looked at the mirror, your face is not like the one from who are you when you were a little, the face that god gifted to you, the face that looks similar with your mother and father, even those big nose and small eyes, you look pretty and handsome at your own way. you do not have to get those painful for months just to become another person in the mirror.

if you do all of those stuffs for uprising your self-confidence, then you just need your friends, your parents, and yourself to give you support and build your confidence, do not mind people judgment because you are you! they do not have any right to judge a person only from its cover. Because I believe, every person has his/her own beauty, you just could not find it yet, because you have to be patient and when it comes to surface, you will be proud of your patience and effort :)

some pics of people who got plastic surgery for beauty reason

anyway, I think that South Korea women and men only value people for their appearance, is that true? because the trend so happening nowadays in there, even I was like confused whether these women or those guys really beautiful/handsome or just get some works done on theirs when I was in South Korea couples month ago. and it was like funny to think they are beautiful but their kids will get their old face when it was born. I know it leads me to do rude articles, please forgive me. but all I wanted to typed is South Korea people have to judge a person not only from their looks but also their inside, like heart, talents, and smarts. It will so scary if couple years again all of Korean will look all the same (moon half eyes, V chin, high bridge nose, straight eyebrow, and etc) and guys will find natural beauty is all they wanted. before it's too late, you have to think hundreds time to get some works on your face ya! ;')

ps: I am praying for Koreans and a lot of people who get worked on their face. today and couple years from now you are pretty but you do not know what will happen ten years from now with your face since human could not make similar things like God had created. There must be side effect from plastic surgery, and I hope you guys will be OK. But one sentence is enough to explained that plastic surgery for beauty reasons is only waste your money, since GENES WON'T LIE :)

that's that.

Change: Healthy lifestyle

It will be long article if I wrote the reason of my changes in details, so I leave it and just want to tell you guys the part of fun of this changing in my life!

I have some changes in my routine activity. back then, exercising and running are just words that never would I did but now, at least in a week I will do running and yoga to make my body more fit and healthy. I also change my eat habit. I already do not eat rice for my breakfast and just eat a spoon of rice in my lunch. I change my rice with another carbohydrate such as wheat bread or smashed potatoes and eat bunch of vegetables of fruits. I also add volume water those goes in my body each day like minimal I will drink 2 liters water, because I have tight schedule and activities in campus. Plus climate in Jakarta (hot) demanding me to do that more.

I am not seeking my weight will decrease with all of those stuff but my goal is to be more healthy. I am just feel my body is much more easy to move and I have more focus in class even I think I need more adaptation for all of those stuff since much of changes I applied, like no rice and exercising in same time.

the fun things despite of decreasing my plate portion is YOGA! I do love yoga even I am willing to spend like hundred thousands rupiah to but the mattress, that showing my self of my commitment in doing yoga. Now I am planning to join Yoga community around my home so I could do yoga more and networking at the same time.

In yoga itself, I find myself hard to do it since my body categorized as stiff and inflexible. but I am very proud after done around 4 times yoga, I could do sun salutations and dog pose easily, and now I am addicted with yoga!! I will practise it every morning before go to campus.

my family also support my new habit, since mom has to maintain dad's food free from fat and excessive sugar, now we have orange juices, oat crackers, low fat milk, soya less sugar milk, spinach, apples, wheat bread, salmon in our fridge and menu list everyday. Yummy and of course, more healthy!

I will come back for the details, see you!

I could do this position like for 3 minutes, since it is so comfortable

another one

Hi, World.

Life is getting hard on me, again. And you know the reason why I am writing here tonight, since no one willing to hear my problem as much you.

It’s just simple hesitation in me nowadays, that I found hard to find a friend to accompany me to do anything since my sister left me going to reach her dream to be a doctor. Like the condition I have now made me think "am I should find a boyfriend so I do not have pleased each of my BFF to accompany me where I want to have someone walk with me?” yes. I have though in that way, and that’s a disaster.

But, I do not want to have one at this time.

And I chose rather to walk alone or if I were lucky, some of my friend willing to go with me. Ah, what-a-life. But thinking of this way, it seems scary if later when I am getting older and all of my friends are busy with their family, who will I call to accompany me but husband or boyfriend? Even my sisters and mom will have their own things.

Should I buy cat or dog when I am getting older? I know they will help me get warm hugs and kisses. Nice!

Happy Eid Al-Adha 1434 H, everyone!

(made by Ismi - Ecomedia BOE)

On Eid, wish that Allah graces with a shower of happiness, love and divine blessings.

Virus

Lagi. Aku rasa aku kehilangan pegangan, juga arah tujuan.
Bukannya aku lemah atau tidak berdaya, tapi sosok dirimu memang bersinar paling terang dalam kegelapan jati diriku. Memandangmu memberikan aku kekuatan untuk hidup dan bermimpi. Setiap katamu selalu membuatku terperangah, takjub akan rangkaian logika dan asa yang kau torehkan di setiap langkahmu.
Dan itu semua bagaikan virus bagiku, menular, dan merusuk ke sanubariku.

Hingga aku tidak bisa melupakanmu, semua gerakanmu.

ketika kamu hilang, aku benar-benar tidak tahu harus kemana.
aku benci mengakui kalau aku lemah tanpamu. aku terus membohongi isi hati bahwa aku kuat, aku tegar. tapi mataku terus mencari sosok rapuh-tapi-kuat mu disetiap langkahku menyusuri kampus. jejaring sosial terus memberikan kabar terbarumu yang heroik. hati kecilku terus teriris, betapa lemahnya.

aku terus berusaha melupakanmu. terus sangat berusaha keras.
karena yang aku ingat bahwa menggapaimu hanyalah bisa bila aku bisa menjadi wanita hebat pula.
dan aku sadar, bahwa diriku yang saat ini masih sangat jauh dari kata hebat, tidak pantas disandingkan dengan dirimu.

mungkin, ini hanyalah posting curhat sementara. karena malam ini dirimu sangat luar biasa.
aku terjangkit virusmu lagi. lemah seketika.

You called it

I am just human. You are also a human, so you whom read my writing right now do not have a right to judge me as a naive human or so-ever you call me. I just want to express my feeling right now cause if I tweeted this, I just make my beloved followers timeline flooded with my shitty bullshit things. Yes, I am not in a very good mood but I am very in a passionate energy. Yes.

This evening when I just came back from campus, the day was fulled with tough discussions with my best friends. One of them talking about ex-boyfriend and love life and the other one talking about travelling and principle (which is the toughest one). I feel like, what a things to be discussed after class, but this is the time that rare time to talking those themes with them. After talking from A to Z, I realized that I need something to change myself, which is the only one who have it is me. I know, I have to take an action to make my plan to become true so I will not always full of regrets in the rest of my campus life. Since in their conversation, I always look that they have something that I do not have it yet and I want it (yes, this thing that you called ego), I want to be perfect as I can, I want to make my life more better than now since I do not know that mine can called as good if compare with some of my friend's life.

Now I promise. Plan, action, and learn. Remember this is the golden chance that you won't miss it :)

blah blah

well. I'm back with a huge lonely feeling to write on in this page. so much win, huh? because finally I have a desire to write again in this blog. this summer, again, I am doing nothing and regret every second I have passed because of so much time I wasted. If I looked back, it doesn't really such a waste. But when I looked it very clearly, that's me whom been an actor, doing it occasionally to wasting my time. and without a shame to remember after done that. Why did I become so shameless person? Am I being a nuts to waste my precious time? Yes, I think now I am crazy, enough to be called a crazy person. I have so much things to do that I have been planned on my mind. But there's nothing of them I execute. I am just lied down and watched every movies and reality shows that I saved in my laptop, or went to campus for some doing research that I never wanted to do.. or googling some crazy stuff and got back nothing. and of course, never going back here to prevent any dramatically stuff to write on. Yes, those all activities that I have been done in a whole month. It such a waste, huh?!

Okay. so what's happened now until I decided to come up here? is there anything wrong? (looks like, again, I made a dialogue in my writing, I have been such a lonely person in this holiday) and the answer is Yes. So big Yes. Before that, I have to put some, brief prologue: my sister is welcomed to being a doctor in Universitas Andalas. And my whole family is busy preparing for her. that's it. It's started from there. I didn't mention that I envy her or anything bad, not at all. Honestly, I am a proud sister! Who the hell will desperate if one of your family will become a great doctor someday? are you crazy? I am happy! -- at the first. but some events that following that day is becoming so hurt badly for me. My parents seem tough to say good-bye for my sister and knowing the truth that they will just live with their rude daughter. And I am also will miss her badly because most of the things in my life getting shared with her. she's like part of myself, we often called a twin sister because of our likely face. but, I don't know, maybe because of my rudeness and impolite act made my parent so much angry and decided to blame me on everything, even they wished me for sooner to get a job and etc that wishing me for leave this house. I know I was growing become a rude person in my family. If I came down, my family act so weird, they often laugh or talking. But when I'm gone, they start to talk and laugh each other. I see it's better to keep they happy without me. I know it exactly. But when you know that, you become so much hurt.. because you know that no one in this world wanted you, wanted you with them.

I committed to live alone in this live. this commitment makes my ego getting bigger and bigger every single day have passed. but, I also always thinking about it every second I had, that if it was right to made those decisions? I'm not like any other person whom care enough to debate on belief system you had or any because I already satisfied with I had. But when it comes to getting married (and because I'm getting my 20s about months again) or living in this world, the couples, and commitment, it's really filling my head and sometimes took your time. I don't blame my family to made me become a person like now, but I wish if I lived with a respect manner, beauty words, not-angry daddy, sweet sister, wonderful brother, and fair mother.. maybe I will not come to this decision. Maybe a family is a great picture to come with, maybe I will have some boyfriend in this age. Old people said, "past is a past, what's been done is never can be fixed" but I believe we could fix it, in some other way.

Oh, God. Give me your strength.

How To Schedule Your Day For Peak Creative Performance

(repost from Amber Rae's article in here)

About four years ago I started working for myself. I wanted the freedom and flexibility to own my schedule and the space to bring my ideas to life.
One of the biggest challenges was structuring my time so I was fully experiencing the benefits of working for myself while also being as creative and productive as possible. At first, the idea of systems and planning made me cringe. I felt like they would hold back my creative potential. Eventually, organization and effectiveness challenges pilled up and I decided to give structure a try.
I wondered:
How do I balance client service with working on my own ideas?
How do I avoid interruptions that mess with my creative flow?
How do I stop putting off the stuff I hate but still have to do?
In my first attempt, I mapped out my day hour by hour, squeezing in all the elements of what I defined as an "ideal day." After a few weeks, I ended up feeling like a robot and the predictability was anything but inspiring.
That's when I decided to zoom out and think more about the categories of an ideal day and how I can batch my time to be most effective.
My problem became more clear: How do I make sure I'm getting stuff done, taking care of myself, making time from for play, and actively pushing myself outside my comfort zone?
That's when I developed a framework called "Work, Play, Fit, Push." Hanging from my wall, it looks like:

Here's how it works:
1. Set priorities on Sunday.
Every Sunday, I sit down and map out my week. Instead of defining the hour-by-hour of each day, I outline my weekly priorities and what I want to have accomplished by the following Sunday.
2. Map out work, play, fit, and push.
Work: For each day, I outline my "Top 3," meaning the three most important things I will have accomplished by the end of the day. Sometimes I'll map out the entire week on Sunday because my priorities are super clear. Other times, I'll decide on my Top 3 on a day-by-day basis.
Play: I've found that play enables me to self-express, reflect, and give my ideas space, which shows up positively in my work. Making time to create art, get into nature, go on photo walks, read poetry, skip down sidewalks and the like puts me in a constant state of curiosity and flow.
Fit: Movement keeps ideas moving forward so I aim to move my body for at least 30 minutes each day.
Push: Since learning and growth is important to me, I do something that scares me (almost) every day. This may be asking someone whom I deeply respect for an interview or writing about a topic that makes me feel vulnerable.
3. Batch your days.
Batching actions into specific days and creating time for creativity has been a huge gamechanger for me. Here's how I break down my schedule.
CREATE on Monday/Wednesday/Friday: I create holes in my schedule for thinking and creating. On these days, instead of thinking about how to spend my time in advance, I pay attention to my body and take breaks as needed.
CALLS and MEETINGS on Tuesday/Thursday: When possible, I avoid phone calls and meetings because I find them typically unproductive and often easy to solve via email. I set aside three hours on Tuesday and Thursday for meetings, and once these spots are filled, I say no. There are, of course, occasional exceptions.
"Hate you but have to do you" is saved for Wednesday morning: Things like paying bills, clearing out my email inbox, and the like, take up just one morning.
SPONTANEOUS Saturday: With so much structure, I make room for spontaneity. On Saturday, I let go and go where the day takes me. Balancing structure with a day of free-spiritedness makes me feel whole.
INTENTIONAL Sunday: Plan for the week ahead.
Above all, when it comes to reaching peak creative performance, it's all about experimenting to figure out what works best for you.
How do you get to peak creative performance? Tell me about it in the comments below.
[Image: Flickr user Rodrigo Soldon]

 I found this article help me a a lot for time management and balancing your life. So I decided to spread this useful information in my blog, for my friends to know about it. Spread it and don't forget take the credit with it :)