23.2.14

YES!

Already two months being an intern and I am still haven't start my writing for the proposal yet. But I promise I will start it this week, because in Thursday I will attend campus meeting for internship proposal and I will set the due date for mine in Thursday, so I could propose my topic proposal to my professor in that day.

So, another busy week has been passed and many challenges I have been through. Thank God that I could survive until now and suprisingly, I enjoyed it. Not that much but still, I could do it more relax and calm.

For this week goal, I will set it for my internship proposal, exchange form and competition CV submitted. I do not want to waste my precious time only in internship but also my campus life. There's still many chances under my eyes and I could catch it soon. So, Wish me luck guys!

18.2.14

:"(

I, do not know, to whom I should share the story. but this feeling was really suck!
I never want to be neglected and be the second of the list, or to be pitied by others or something like that. I, am such a person who does not want to be just another people, I am very unique, if you realized it. But in here, yes, I just covered by others and I could not shine, spread my own color, and show them what I could do for them. In fact, they also do not want to believe in me and seems like just rely on the other intern. So you know, I was really sad with my condition. So stress. I feel inferior and not confident with my ability, anymore because of this. I really want to resign from this job but I really rely my internship report in this internship. Oh God.......................................... I wanna cry.

15.2.14

What you are up to?

At the time when you could hear Adzan voice in the evening, at that time you have to stop everything and anything you do and start to wash your face, hand, hair and feet (wudhu) to get a pray, in a Moeslim way, Shalat. But you know, I am bad at these kind of things and seems like I've often pray nowadays. Like today, my Mom scolded me because I was not stop my things when the Adzan finished. Even she asked me the words that puzzled me "My daughter, what are you looking for in this world?" and I just smile.

I just smile because I still do not know. I even have declared I do not want to be married and have a son/daughter. I even stated that I want to be alone, want to work, achieved a top of global company, rule the world and die in peace. But still, I don't know what am I up to until I dare to be someone like that.

It still puzzled me.

11.2.14

Strive back

Hi, boredom

I have to strive back any guilty and unlikely pleasant feeling of being employee. Now I have been working for a month and those feeling come over me, since my new team not really as enjoy as the old team, I now know what is the boredom feeling is.
Because not only happiness and sweet taste that could you taste in this life, my senior told me that the reality just come and I have to face it. As you have to know, I always complain and told my team to pull me back to their team. But they just told me those things above this line, that this is the reality, that I have to survive, that this is the internship. You have to taste the sweetness and bitterness being an employee.

A week in this team already taught me to more strong and be professional. I have to rely on my attitude because the attitude really makes a big difference if you are an employee. Not only just your technical skill and brain, you have to know when and how to response for any-case.

In Saturday, I was slept over in my friend’s board room. When we had lunch, we talked many things for the future, like we had to open our heart and be prepared for the wedding etc, ready for installment for car and apartment, future office and master. I have to be mature, that I am now growing and already not a child anymore. I should be prepared like from now.
I should not be a naïve in situation like this. I have to dare to face it. If I said I hate to be mature, yes I am. But this is the reality. This is it. What I should do is to find my path, the suit one with me so I should not strive and struggle much because of I enjoy it. And I knew that this one is not the one that I want to find.
I don’t know what happen in the next post. Just hope for the best.