blah blah

well. I'm back with a huge lonely feeling to write on in this page. so much win, huh? because finally I have a desire to write again in this blog. this summer, again, I am doing nothing and regret every second I have passed because of so much time I wasted. If I looked back, it doesn't really such a waste. But when I looked it very clearly, that's me whom been an actor, doing it occasionally to wasting my time. and without a shame to remember after done that. Why did I become so shameless person? Am I being a nuts to waste my precious time? Yes, I think now I am crazy, enough to be called a crazy person. I have so much things to do that I have been planned on my mind. But there's nothing of them I execute. I am just lied down and watched every movies and reality shows that I saved in my laptop, or went to campus for some doing research that I never wanted to do.. or googling some crazy stuff and got back nothing. and of course, never going back here to prevent any dramatically stuff to write on. Yes, those all activities that I have been done in a whole month. It such a waste, huh?!

Okay. so what's happened now until I decided to come up here? is there anything wrong? (looks like, again, I made a dialogue in my writing, I have been such a lonely person in this holiday) and the answer is Yes. So big Yes. Before that, I have to put some, brief prologue: my sister is welcomed to being a doctor in Universitas Andalas. And my whole family is busy preparing for her. that's it. It's started from there. I didn't mention that I envy her or anything bad, not at all. Honestly, I am a proud sister! Who the hell will desperate if one of your family will become a great doctor someday? are you crazy? I am happy! -- at the first. but some events that following that day is becoming so hurt badly for me. My parents seem tough to say good-bye for my sister and knowing the truth that they will just live with their rude daughter. And I am also will miss her badly because most of the things in my life getting shared with her. she's like part of myself, we often called a twin sister because of our likely face. but, I don't know, maybe because of my rudeness and impolite act made my parent so much angry and decided to blame me on everything, even they wished me for sooner to get a job and etc that wishing me for leave this house. I know I was growing become a rude person in my family. If I came down, my family act so weird, they often laugh or talking. But when I'm gone, they start to talk and laugh each other. I see it's better to keep they happy without me. I know it exactly. But when you know that, you become so much hurt.. because you know that no one in this world wanted you, wanted you with them.

I committed to live alone in this live. this commitment makes my ego getting bigger and bigger every single day have passed. but, I also always thinking about it every second I had, that if it was right to made those decisions? I'm not like any other person whom care enough to debate on belief system you had or any because I already satisfied with I had. But when it comes to getting married (and because I'm getting my 20s about months again) or living in this world, the couples, and commitment, it's really filling my head and sometimes took your time. I don't blame my family to made me become a person like now, but I wish if I lived with a respect manner, beauty words, not-angry daddy, sweet sister, wonderful brother, and fair mother.. maybe I will not come to this decision. Maybe a family is a great picture to come with, maybe I will have some boyfriend in this age. Old people said, "past is a past, what's been done is never can be fixed" but I believe we could fix it, in some other way.

Oh, God. Give me your strength.


How To Schedule Your Day For Peak Creative Performance

(repost from Amber Rae's article in here)

About four years ago I started working for myself. I wanted the freedom and flexibility to own my schedule and the space to bring my ideas to life.
One of the biggest challenges was structuring my time so I was fully experiencing the benefits of working for myself while also being as creative and productive as possible. At first, the idea of systems and planning made me cringe. I felt like they would hold back my creative potential. Eventually, organization and effectiveness challenges pilled up and I decided to give structure a try.
I wondered:
How do I balance client service with working on my own ideas?
How do I avoid interruptions that mess with my creative flow?
How do I stop putting off the stuff I hate but still have to do?
In my first attempt, I mapped out my day hour by hour, squeezing in all the elements of what I defined as an "ideal day." After a few weeks, I ended up feeling like a robot and the predictability was anything but inspiring.
That's when I decided to zoom out and think more about the categories of an ideal day and how I can batch my time to be most effective.
My problem became more clear: How do I make sure I'm getting stuff done, taking care of myself, making time from for play, and actively pushing myself outside my comfort zone?
That's when I developed a framework called "Work, Play, Fit, Push." Hanging from my wall, it looks like:
Here's how it works:
1. Set priorities on Sunday.
Every Sunday, I sit down and map out my week. Instead of defining the hour-by-hour of each day, I outline my weekly priorities and what I want to have accomplished by the following Sunday.
2. Map out work, play, fit, and push.
Work: For each day, I outline my "Top 3," meaning the three most important things I will have accomplished by the end of the day. Sometimes I'll map out the entire week on Sunday because my priorities are super clear. Other times, I'll decide on my Top 3 on a day-by-day basis.
Play: I've found that play enables me to self-express, reflect, and give my ideas space, which shows up positively in my work. Making time to create art, get into nature, go on photo walks, read poetry, skip down sidewalks and the like puts me in a constant state of curiosity and flow.
Fit: Movement keeps ideas moving forward so I aim to move my body for at least 30 minutes each day.
Push: Since learning and growth is important to me, I do something that scares me (almost) every day. This may be asking someone whom I deeply respect for an interview or writing about a topic that makes me feel vulnerable.
3. Batch your days.
Batching actions into specific days and creating time for creativity has been a huge gamechanger for me. Here's how I break down my schedule.
CREATE on Monday/Wednesday/Friday: I create holes in my schedule for thinking and creating. On these days, instead of thinking about how to spend my time in advance, I pay attention to my body and take breaks as needed.
CALLS and MEETINGS on Tuesday/Thursday: When possible, I avoid phone calls and meetings because I find them typically unproductive and often easy to solve via email. I set aside three hours on Tuesday and Thursday for meetings, and once these spots are filled, I say no. There are, of course, occasional exceptions.
"Hate you but have to do you" is saved for Wednesday morning: Things like paying bills, clearing out my email inbox, and the like, take up just one morning.
SPONTANEOUS Saturday: With so much structure, I make room for spontaneity. On Saturday, I let go and go where the day takes me. Balancing structure with a day of free-spiritedness makes me feel whole.
INTENTIONAL Sunday: Plan for the week ahead.
Above all, when it comes to reaching peak creative performance, it's all about experimenting to figure out what works best for you.
How do you get to peak creative performance? Tell me about it in the comments below.
[Image: Flickr user Rodrigo Soldon]

 I found this article help me a a lot for time management and balancing your life. So I decided to spread this useful information in my blog, for my friends to know about it. Spread it and don't forget take the credit with it :)