Until now I have been girl whom always independent and doing anything with own hassle. and until this sound of ticking passed I still that girl, never think to change my mind until I old later. Why? Now I would explain my thoughts to you all, my readers, who willing to read my writing.
First of all. Boyfriend (of my thought) is someone whom willing to share his time, his life, his money, his.. everything based on his love for her girlfriend whom a girl love him with pure love and willing to be interfered and leaned on by her boyfriend.
So, the point is. I don't think I am in that level, which willing to be cared and caring for somebody else but my family. I am the person whom always solve the problem by own way. No need caring by someone special, I just need a friend or bed to lean me on. In Saturday night when couples busy with their romance, I busied with my tasks and my dvds. Playing with cat, flattery its. No need loving by someone special.
And then, I won't to be married because I don't like in a box. I hate seeing same face for a long time, take care of someone that (maybe) I love for loooong shit time. go to hell with for the thought like that. I want to see fullest of the world, don't wanna disturb by anything useless things but my family's.
But I'm still the ordinary human. Sometimes that shit feeling called love pass me by. And I just smile to faced that. For solve that feeling, sometimes I walked the streets alone and see the clouds above me, the scene of this world, its beautiful. Watching the people's faces, take not of their expression, their smiles. And then I sleep to close the day. After that, I'll back again to the normal feeling and forget about the love things. Easy as always.
Sum of all, I am sure of my decision. I will not marry anyone in this world (except Japanese and someone I waited for long times) and I just need my family, my friends, and the society. Especially cats to accompany me facing the hardest time of this worls.
From the unique one, for all those whom read this.