30.3.11

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Bonjour.

I've done my mid test a couple hours ago which was held from a weeks ago. The last test was my main course, principle of accounting and I ended it with failure. After that, I ran to gymnasium to join the badminton exam which was just service one cock up and fall to 3 meters, but again, I ended it with 0 which is that means I can not get A for this subject.

What should I do? What should I do? I'm just too stress to think about tomorrow even the day after that. I'm just cry over and over, hoping that someone care for me and want to listen my story, but I knew that no one would. The pressure I got from two weeks are too heavy, My hair falls everyday in much number and I always sleep until the day changed because many things not complete done. My eyes get the panda mark since two weeks ago, and I couldn't bearing even avoiding to not cry. I always tell to my self that I can pass it away and success whatever hard it, but practically this is so hard.. what should I do?

Furthermore, I have no friend. That's true. Simplify, this 'friends' will shown around me about two weeks about midterm or final test come. If not? No one would come, no one would care about me. Just say Hi when passing by and just by did that, they way, nor me to awake our relation. Just that, fellow. And now all people know about my plan to not getting married ever. But still I'm interesting to find one the best boy around here but who wants to share his time for girl whom clearly will not give him future. Who? No one.

Do you think I'm the saddest people on the world? Definitely, Yes I am. I'm not ugly just a little fatty, I do smile everyone say hi to me, I do never hate someone, I do care for my friends (even they do not), I do love someone (the truth is no one love me) and I do study but not every night like people said, but why should I get this situation??

I don't know. I even don't have any money to face tomorrow. and my eyes.. like after punched by someone. Hurts.